Ms. Godda Chadda

On the sets of my latest film, with a heart full of enthusiasm, a body feeling the pleasant pains of the last day’s good workout, and a skin glowing from plentiful sleep, I was READY.

It was a day of minor stunts. I had to jump, chase,leap,lunge and run.  The team had made the required arrangements. I did a few jumps and felt like the queen of my castle. Soon, I felt a small sensation in my stomach.  The next jump, from where I stood, looked alright. The director jumped twice and the first AD hustled us on. Not his fault, that was his job. And then I jumped.

....The team was sitting under a blue tent in my eye-line. A tall palm tree stood behind them. The sky was blue and the ground was hard under the mattresses.  What I had felt three milliseconds before the jump is what can be described as ‘gut feeling’...

Black-out.

No I didn’t pass out. I barely managed to keep myself from it. I knew I was screaming but could do nothing about it.  I remembered a documentary I saw on Discovery, where a hyena was howling in a peculiar way. Well, that was me. Graceful eh?

Result, one supremely torn cartilage (shock absorber between the two knee bones), a chipped bone of the thigh, all the variety of ligaments pulled to their maximum and five other injuries too technical to describe here. Basically, I was in pain. I became wheelchair bound for 4 WEEKS following that injury.

I slunk into depression. My first big film GOW (Gangs of Wasseypur) was due to release in less than two months. Just when I needed to be up and about and looking my best, I had become bedridden. And on top of that, the current film was suffering. The shoot had to be stalled and the producer was going to suffer losses. And I needed surgery. I, who had declined a painkiller injection when I got injured for fear of the pain, had to have an arthroscopy.

GOW made it to the Cannes director’s fortnight. A large question mark loomed over my ability to attend the festival.  You have to walk the red-carpet not be wheeled on it. I prayed everyday for my knee to support me a little bit more, just as it had all of my life. I prayed that my surgeon would allow me to walk soon. I prayed, prayed and prayed.

And now, even though I am limping, and my range of motion is restricted, and I am doing the exercises that Rishi Kapoor did in Chandni after he fell from the helicopter, I can WALK!!!

Moral of the story- don’t ignore that feeling in your gut. Don’t give in to the false sense of bravado that urges you to do things that are not your job. I am trained in basic karate and kalaripeyattu, and people make an example of my agility, but look what happened! The crew, even when they have your best interest at heart, may not know better. For a few minutes of applause that follows actors trying to be braver than need be can cost the actor work, money and cause a LOT of physical and emotional pain. And when the actor suffers, the crew, the film, everyone involved suffers. I cannot describe the ordeal that my parents went through-setting aside their professional commitments and nursing me back to health.  And I cannot imagine the pain the producer felt. He might have felt a minor arthroscopy performed on his pocket and heart when I went through mine.

My guru Barry Sir always said that an unfit actor is an out-of-work actor. My dad says ‘Buzurgon ka kaha aur jawaani ka khana baad mein yaad aata hai’

(You understand the value of what you eat in your youth and the wisdom of elders, often when it’s a little late). 

PS- On an even lighter note, look at this person. He was an assistant light-man and had no knowledge of medicine or physiology. He tried to make me do a hamstring stretch, with cheerful indifference to my pain. Must’ve done one in a gym in 1965 sometime and thought it’s the best treatment for me. Would’ve kicked me with my one good leg if I was not half- unconscious. If I ever see him again, he won’t be able to see much thereafter.  Lol.